


Time for change

by theanic



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Bisexual Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Bisexual Evan "Buck" Buckley, Chris is at his abuela's all the time, Eddie Diaz Takes Care of Evan "Buck" Buckley, Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley, M/M, he literally lives there, why is he there so much
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-18 18:06:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29613336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theanic/pseuds/theanic
Summary: Buck had been depressed ever since the lawsuit, so he decides to end it all. Will he survive or is the help too far away?
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 160





	1. The beginning or the end?

**Author's Note:**

> Just have to say that English is not my first language, therefore, it may be some spelling mistakes. Happy reading!

The shift was over, finally. Buck could see everyone gathering in the kitchen, but he knew he wasn't welcome. Ever since the lawsuit, everyone was ignoring Buck. Tired, he went in the locker room, and quickly changed clothes. It was Friday, and the day was finally over. Buck had taken the rest of the day off, simply because he wanted. He could hear the rest of the crew making plans for dinner, but no one invited Buck. But, he was used to it now. He knew it was his fault, but in his defense, he had been apologizing the last couple of weeks, and still, no one talked to him. It seemed like they were moving on, forgetting him. When he walked out of the locker room, he threw a quick glance up at the kitchen. They were all laughing, having fun. They were all there; Cap, Hen, Chimney and Eddie. Buck hadn't notized he was standing still, but when he saw the crew heading down-stairs, he quickly realized it, and went on to his car.

At home, everything was quiet and lonely. No one was there to complaint about his messy apartment or going outside. The last couple of weeks had been exhausting. Buck had been lonely, more than he ever could imagine was possible. He missed Eddie the most. He missed their movie night and their long drives. But most of all he missed Chris. Chris had been the light in Buck's life for the last year or so, and now, he hadn't seen in too long. 

The kitchen was a chaos. It hadn't been cleaned in God knows how long and there were no space on the counter anymore. "It's not enough space for cooking" Buck told himself as he ordered a pizza. 5 minutes later, the bell rang. On the other side of the doors it was a young boy with a pizzabox in his hand. 

***

As Buck ate the last slice of pizza, the thought of spending another night alone was killing him. Not that he usually had someone to spend it with, but he always had a reason to wake up, to start another day. Now, he had nothing. He looked at his phone. 10:16 PM and no messages. Suddently, Buck felt the urge to end it all. The thought had striked him a couple of times the last weeks, but now it was stronger. He had no one to turn to, no one to talk to, no one to help him. Everyone was busy with their own life and they were all pretty mad at him. Buck knew it was his fault, and now, there was nothing he could do. Maddie was his last family, and now she was starting her own. She couldn't spend the rest of her life taking care of him, she needed to take care of the baby. And none of the 118 would ever want to look after him, make sure he was doing fine. He had no one. 

The time went by, and Buck had planned how he would do it. By thinking about the cases he had seen at work, he figured that pills were the safest way. Buck went to his bathroom. In the mirror, he saw himself, but he coulnd't recognize himself. It was like it was a body without a soul, just like he felt. He opened the mirror, and looked at all the different pills he had. They were all from his surgeries, but he had never used any. He took a box of pills and went upstairs. He took a last look at the apartment, before laying down on the bed. He swallowed every pill in the bottle, and drank some water to push it down. He looked at his phone. He should leave a message to Eddie, he needed to know that he loves him and Chris, and he was working, meaning he wouldn't see it before it was too late.

"Hey Eds. I know you don't want to speak to me, or even think about me, but I need to say this. I love you. And Chris. Damn I love you both, I just need you to know that, okay? Remember that". He wiped a tear off his face. Buck could already feel the pain go away. He tucked himself in nice, thinking about all of the good memories. He had lived a good life, but he did not regret what he just had done. The last thing he felt was a tear falling down his cheek, then, it all went black. 

***

Eddie had just come from a call. Another housefire, but luckily it went well. No one had died, just a few that needed medical help. The truck backed into the garage, and he jumped out. "You guys want some dinner? We have leftovers from yesterday" Cap said as he nearly ran up the stairs. "Sure Cap" Eddie responded, feeling the hunger crawling in his stomach. 

Just as they were about to sit down, the bell rang again. As a reflection, everyone stood up and ran towards the truck. "No dinner today either" Cap said as he was getting in. "Male in his twenties, landlord worried after hearing nothing from him, worried neighbors". The voice of the radio was the same as always, but this case was so much different from the other cases. As the truck turned into the driveway, Eddie notized something. "This is Buck's place!" he yelled and threw himself out of the truck. The other came shortly after. Eddie felt the panick go through his head, imagining every possible case. He had no time to waist, so he kicked the door open. Cap came in after. "Okay, Hen, Chimney, you take the bathroom, Eddie you go upstairs" Cap said as he searched the kitchen and living room. Eddie ran up the stairs. The stairs he had played with Chris countless times. The first thing he saw was his bed. With a unconscious Buck in it. "Up here!" he yelled as he ran towards Buck. "Buck! Can you hear me? Buck!". The panick was taking over. Hen and Chimey came up seconds after Eddie. Eddie checked Buck's pulse. "Nothing". Cap dragged Eddie away. "What the hell-" he started but was interrupted by Bobby. "I know you care about him, therefore you need to let them do their job" Cap said calmly. Eddie looked at Buck. His face was pale and his lips had gotten a blue-ish color. It was just like looking at a body. 

***

Then, Eddie notized something. Beside Buck was a yellow bottle. He took the bottle, and recognized it. "He OD?" Eddie said confused. The rest of the team looked at him, and then looked at the bottle. "We need to get him to a hospital!" Hen said.

Eddie had gotten into the ambulance, and was holding Buck's hand. They were cold and pale. He couldn't stop thinking about all the good memories, and that the last time he saw him alive, he was ignoring him. "Are we there yet?" he asked Hen. "Soon, in a minute or so".

It was crazy how slow a minute could go. Once they got to the hospital, docotrs were waiting at the door. At the hospital, it was quiet. No one dared talk, and everyone was in their own mind. Eddie was thinking about all the good memories he had of Buck. He wasn't mad anymore, he loved him. But it seemed like everyone else still hadn't forgiven him, so he had been affected by them. But deep down he knew Buck didn't mean to make them mad, to break their trust, he was just angry. But it seemed as no one else understood that.

While he sat, he remembered that Chris still was at his Abuela's. He needed to call them and ask if they could keep him for the night. As he locked up his phone, he found a voice mail. From Buck. "Hey Eds'. I know you don' want to speak to me, or even think 'bout me, but I need to say this. I love you. And Chris. Damn I love you both, I jus' need you to know that, okay?  
Remember that". Eddie felt a tear run down his cheek. Buck had called him, he could have saved him. Terrified of his own thought, Eddie reminded himself that Buck was still alive. He hoped.

***

"Mr. Diaz?". A nurse came in the doors, looking around the room. Eddie stood up. "Yes?". "Mr. Buckley's doctor wants to talk to you" said the nurse. Eddie, still surprised that he was Buck's emergency contact, immediatly walked towards the nurse. The emergency room was filled with people in beds, all looking like they had been through hell. Nearly in the end of the room, the nurse stopped. "The doctor will be here in a minute. Mr. Buckley is still unconcious, but you can see him if you want". Eddie nodded quietly. The nurse opened the curtains that shielded Buck from the rest of the room. 

Eddie walked in heard the nurse close the curtains behind him. "Buck?" he asked silent, knowing he wouldn't get an answer. He took a chair from the corner of the room, and sat beside Buck. Eddie took his hand, and looked at the man. He was still pale, and his lips had the same blue-ish color like before. "Buck, why would you do this?" Eddie asked, still confused over the situation. The heart monitor gave out a beep every now and then, making Eddie sure Buck was alive. 

"Mr. Diaz?". A voice made Eddie return to reality. He turned, seeing a man in a white coat standing in front of the curtains. Eddie nodded, while he got up. "I am dr. Watts, I will be Mr. Buckley's doctor" the man said calmly. "How is he?" Eddie asked worried. "He is stable, but in a coma for now. We don't know when he will wake up... or if he will wake up". The doctor looked uncomfortable. "He hasn't showed any signs of waking up yet. We cannot know if he can hear anything, but he might. If you want, you can talk to him, maybe he will wake up from hearing a familiar voice" the doctor said while Eddie looked at Buck. "Can I bring someone to him?" Eddie asked, knowing Buck probably didn't want to hear Eddie's voice. "No, I am sorry. Are you thinking about anyone special?" the doctor said. "My son. He loves that kid. Maybe he wants to wake up if he heard his voice" Eddie said, while thinking about how Chris could change someone's mood like a light switch. "I will talk to someone, maybe we can arrange that, I will be in touch". The doctor looked at Eddie with sympathy in his smile.


	2. wake up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you want the chapter to be a surpise, don't read the summary. Buck is at the hospital, unconscious, while Eddie tries his best to keep it together. Buck wakes up and has to explain why he did what he did.

The next day, early in the morning, Eddie and Chris were on their way to the hospital. The rest of the crew had gone home when Eddie told them what the doctor told him. Just as Eddie and Chris were done eating breakfast, dr. Watts had called Eddie, telling him it was okay to bring Chris. Minutes after, they were in the car. When entering the waiting room, Eddie stopped. "Chris, you know Buck is sick, right?" he asked Chris, knowing he would explain why Buck wasn't awake. "Yes dad, you said he got hurt" Chris answered. "Yes, that's right. Well, Buck had gotten so hurt that he is in a deep sleep, but hopefully he will wake up soon. I just need you to be prepared that he won't talk, and he looks a little different". The little boy looked a little sad. "I want to see Buck, dad!" Chris said determined. 

Eddie took Chris in the hand, walking up to the desk. "We're here to visit Evan Buckley" he said, and the lady behind the desk started looking through some papers. "Mr. Buckley is in room 118, down the hall and to the left" the woman said. Eddie thought about how random it was that he got exactly room 118. "Thank you" Eddie said as he and Chris followed the lady's description. "There it is!" Chris said and pointed towards a door that said "118". "You're right, bud" Eddie said to his son. He knocked at the door, knowing it had no meaning, but he didn't want to be rude. When Eddie opened the door, Chris let go of his arm and ran towards Buck. "Careful!" was all Eddie could say before Chris was hugging Buck with all of his strength. Chris let go, and started inspecting Buck's face. "Why is he so white?" Chris asked confused. "It's because...". Eddie felt a lump in his throat as he needed to explain why his best friend was laying there in a coma, nearly dead. "It's because he had a little trouble getting his blood going" Eddie explained as best as he could. He knew that if Chris saw him cry, he would get so scared, and Eddie didn't want that for his son. "Talk to him, tell him about what happened at school the other day" Eddie said, trying to get Chris to focus on Buck. For hours Eddie listened to Chris talking about his day, his dreams and all that he could think of. 

The day went by. Then another. And another. Eddie had taken a leave of absence, knowing he would do no good at work in this situation. Eddie and Chris had spent their whole days visiting Buck, but he showed no signs of waking up. But he kept going, he did not give up on Buck.

"Bye, bud. Carla will pick you up today, okay? Then you'll go to Abuela and eat dinner. I'll be gone the whole day. Love you" Eddie said as he delivered his son at school. "Love you too". Eddie had lots to do this day. He had to talk to Bobby, as he could no longer be gone from work. Then, he had to go grocery shopping, clean the house and get his truck checked. It was nothing wrong with it, but Eddie always had it checked every year, in case something was wrong. But as always, he started the day with visiting Buck. 

The hospital was a few minutes drive, and Eddie thought about how his conversation with Bobby would go. As he turned into the parking lot, he had basically planned everything he would say to his captain. In the lobby, there was a few people, but relatively empty. Eddie walked over to the nurse standing behind the counter. Before he could say anything, the nurse started talking. "Let me guess, you're here to visit Evan Buckley?". Eddie gave her a shy laughter. "You know where he is" she said and smiled to Eddie. He walked down the same halls as he had walked the last few days. Without even looking at the door number, he knew he was there. As always, he knocked before he walked in. But today was no different; still no answer. As he turned the knob, he saw Buck laying in his bed. Still no movement, but he didn't look as pale as he had the last days, but he was no where near his normal skin tone. "Hey Buck, how are you doing?" Eddie asked while he got a chair to sit beside him. He took Buck's hand in his, feeling the cold skin. "Gotta talk to Cap today, wish me luck. I don't think he's happy with me lately. I took a leave of absence to think about everything, but I haven't had the time yet. I don't know what to do Buck. I need you here, I need to have someone who understands me, who thinks like me. I need you". Just as the last words left Eddie's mouth, he felt a tear running down his cheek. Then, Buck's eye flinched. Eddie saw Buck swallow, probably dehydrated after all the oxygen he had gotten through the tube in his nose. "Buck?" Eddie asked, as calmly as he could. "Are you awake?". He couldn't hold back the excitement. Buck opened his eyes slowly, and looked confused around the room. "Hey, hey, you're in the hospital, you're safe" Eddie said and felt a relief he had longed for. Eddie pushed the call button, to let the doctors know Buck was awake. 

"Eddie?" Buck asked confused. "Yes, I'm here" Eddie said and ran his fingers through Buck's hair. Dr. Watts came within seconds, as surprised as Eddie. "Mr. Buckley, you're awake! We almost gave up on you" the doctor said as he checked Buck's file. "How are you feeling? Any pain?" the doctor asked while he wrote down his vitals. "Uh, my head hurts, and I am a little dry in my throat" Buck said, while moving to a more upstanding postion in his bed. "Oh, I can get some water" Eddie said and found a cup on the nightstand, filling it up with water and giving it to Buck. "How would you rate the headache on a scale from one through ten?" dr. Watts asked. Buck felt his head, thinking. "About a 5". "Okay, I'll check up on you the next hour. You'll get some pain killers for now. See you in a bit". 

"Was that better?" Eddie asked as Buck drank some water. He just nodded, and offered a small smile. "Eddie, I'm sorry-". "Stop, I know. Now, you need to rest". "How'd you find me?" Buck asked quietly. "Uh, we were on call the night you..." Eddie began, but he didn't finish his sentence. "I never ment for you to find me, I was going to go, as I should have" Buck said, defending his choices. "You still want do die? Buck, don't you understand? People love you! Your sister, Chris, the entire 118, me! You don't get to leave us because you feel bad. You don't even know how much I've been hurting, how much Chris has worried sick-" Eddie started shouting, but Buck interupted him. "Get to leave? Eddie, I've been lonely the last six months because you all left me. I am not the one who left you, you left me! Ever since the lawsuit, which I have apologized for for the last few months, you, the 118 have ignored me, shut me out, made my life a living hell. Well excuse me for trying to escape it!". Buck was shouting, but Eddie did not even think about what others might hear. "Buck!-". "No, get the fuck out, Eddie!" Buck yelled. "I am not leaving you again. I am staying here until you understand how much you mean to us!" Eddie yelled back and sat down in his chair again. "Fuck you" Buck mumbled as he laid down again. "Well, fuck you too" Eddie responded. 

After thirty minutes of complete silence, the doctor was back. "Mr. Buckley, how are you doing? Any better?" he asked when he entered the room. "With him here, I would say the headache is about an eleven" Buck said and gave Eddie a look that could kill. "Okay, without him here, how's the headache?". "Still about a 5" Buck told the doctor. "We'll take some tests the next hours, checking if everything is normal, is that okay with you?" dr. Watts asked Buck. He simply gave a nod, as a yes. "Dr. Watts, can I speak with you? Alone" Eddie asked before Watts left. "Sure". They walked out in the hall, where Buck couldn't hear them. "Look, you've probably noticed how Buck's a little mad with me. He wants me gone, but... no one else cares about him as much as I do and I really thinks he need me and Chris to stay healthy. Please, do not listen to him when he wants me gone. He needs me". Dr. Watts looked at Eddie, then Buck through the small window on the door. "Mr. Diaz. It's my duty to listen to my patients, and I would be breaking the rules if I didn't. But, Mr. Buckley is a hard nut to crack, and I think theres only a handful that can understand him. Therefore, I will try my best to keep you here, for Mr. Buckley's health, but I can't promise anything". The doctor looked at Eddie with compassion in his eyes. "Thank you, doc" Eddie said as he was walking back to Buck's room. The doctor followed Eddie. "Well, I will have a nurse come and prep you for your tests in a minute. And for you, Mr. Diaz, you should go home and get something done, Mr. Buckley will be occupied for the next 4 hours".


	3. "I said you're not getting rid of me"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't read this if you don't want the chapter spoiled; Buck had woken up and he is heading home to Eddie. Chris finally gets to meet Buck again.

Eddie arrived at the station just as the 118 came back from a mission. "Hey, Cap! Can we talk?" he asked when he saw Bobby come out of the truck. "Diaz! Yes, go to my office, I'll be there in a minute" Bobby said as he refilled the truck. Eddie walked towards Bobby's office, where he only had been a couple of times before. A minute or so later, Bobby came into the room and sat behind his desk. "You ready to come back to work, Diaz?" Bobby asked and folded his hands. "I was, but Buck woke up today-". Before Eddie could finish his sentence, Bobby interrupted him. "Buck's awake?" he said with a smile covering his mouth. "Yeah, I came straight from the hospital" Eddie said, and then he remembered he hadn't informed the others. "Shit, I should call Maddie!" Eddie panicked and took his phone up from his pockets. 

After a energic converation with Maddie over the phone, Eddie was ready to talk with Bobby again. "Sorry" he said as he sat down in the chair. "So, are you coming back?" Bobby asked. Eddie hadn't thought about that. He was ready, but when Buck woke up, he hadn't even had the chance to think about work. "Not yet, Cap-". Eddie was ready to explain why he couldn't work, but again, Bobby interrupted him. "I know, you need to be there for Buck. I know you two have a connection that no one can compete with, and if there is someone Buck needs right now, it's you". Eddie felt a relief hit him, and he loved how his boss could understand this so easily. "But, I need a confirmation from Buck that you're his caretaker, in order to give you a legal leave of absence, can you get that for me?" Bobby asked, slightly more serious now. "Yeah, I'll fix that for you".

A few hours later the house was clean and filled with food, the guest bedroom was ready and work was fixed. Eddie looked at the time. It was a few hours since Buck had gone for tests, and he would be done soon. "Better get to the hospital" Eddie thought for himself as he got in his truck.

***

At the hospital, Eddie was alone in Buck's room. He wasn't finished yet, so Eddie took the opportunity to call Carla and tell her about the news. She answered on the first ring. "Hey Eddie, everything okay?" she asked, affectionate as always. "Yeah, everything's fine. Look, Buck woke up today-". Again, he didn't finish the sentence before Carla started speaking. "He's awake? Thank God!". "I need to be here the whole day. Could you pick up Chris and drive him to my mother? I've already talked to her, she is making dinner and Chris could stay there for the night". "Yes, of course, Eddie. Good luck!".

The door opened and in came Buck and a nurse. Buck sat in a wheelchair, obviously tired. "You good?" Eddie asked when Buck sat in his bed. "You're still here?". "I said you're not getting rid of me" Eddie said and offered a little smile. "No, but seriously, Buck. I am staying here and taking care of you, whether you like it or not". "Fine" Buck said, knowing it would be hard to discuss with Eddie now. "Dr. Watts will be here in a minute with the results of your tests, you alright here?" the nurse asked and wrote something down in Buck's file. 

"How did it go?" Eddie asked Buck when the nurse had left. To Eddie's surprise, Buck actually answered. "Fine I guess. My head still hurts, tho". Before Eddie could ask more, dr. Watts came into the room. "Hello gentlemen, you are you doing?" he asked and looked at the file the nurse newly had written in. "Well, your test results came back, and there is nothing wrong. You're totally healthy". "So he can go home?" Eddie asked before the doctor could say more. "Mr. Buckley needs to be here for a 72-hour watch, because of his suicidal throughts. He will be attending therapy while he's here, and I strongly recommend that he keeps going to therapy for the next months". 

"Mr. Diaz, can we talk?" the doctor asked after he showed Buck the results of the tests. Eddie nodded, trying to understand all of the information he got. Out in the hall, the doctor started talking. "When Mr. Buckley is discharged, it is very important to keep him safe. Even if we get positive responce from the therapist, we can't be sure that he won't do this again. As you being his emergency contact, it is clear to me that Buck trusts you and would choose you over anyone else. I would recommend Mr. Buckley to stay with you. Do you think that would be possible?". "Yes, I have already arranged the guest bedroom, and we have plenty of space for him to be" Eddie said, ready for Buck to stay in his home. "But I have noticed some tension between you two. I would recommend you to give him plenty of time alone, and do not bother him if he wants to be alone, except for emergencies. It is important for Mr. Buckley to re-connect with the people he lost, but take baby steps, as the mental wounds might not have healed yet". "When can he go home?" Eddie asked, wondering when he could have his best friend with him. "The 72-hour watch started when he woke up, so he will be done in three days" the doctor said while he did some math in his head. "So that means you can pick him up on Friday, if the therapist thinks he is okay". 

***

The rest of the week had gone by, eventually. It felt like a month, and Eddie was beyond ready to take Buck home. When Eddie told him that he was going home with him, Buck had been happy, to Eddie's surprise. It seemed like he was ready to give Eddie a chance, and Eddie was going to take it. Chris was at school, but Eddie had to use his angry-voice to get him there. Chris wanted to be there when Buck was released from the hospital, and Eddie could understand that. But, there was not much to do when Buck was coming home. He was probably tired, and wanting to sleep, and that would pretty much be it. And Chris could not miss too much school, just because Buck was coming and then sleep for 5 hours. Eddie looked at his phone. 8:26 AM. Eddie started driving towards the hospital, wanting to get Buck out of there as soon as possible. He knew Buck didn't want to be at the hospital any longer than he had to. 

"You got everything?" Eddie asked Buck. "Yeah, I think so. Even if I don't, I'm not fucking going back here" Buck answered, with a low laughter. "Well, we'll see about that. Before you know it, you'll lay under a truck again". "Ouch!". Buck was sitting in a wheelchair, with a bag on his lap. He was still too weak to walk alone. Eddie rolled Buck's wheelchair to the counter. "Mr. Buckley, you're finally out of here!" the nurse said with joy. Buck took the form, signing it and giving it back to the nurse. "Yeah, you won't see me for a while". When the two boys came to Eddie's truck, Buck sighed. "Fuck, I forgot how tall your car is". "I'll help you, give me your bag" Eddie said and threw the bag in the backseat. Buck stood up from the wheelchair, leaning on Eddie's shulder. After getting Buck in, which was relatively easy after a time Eddie had picked up Buck drunk, doing the exact same procedure. Eddie had to walk back with the wheelchair, as it was not included in the deal. 

The door squeaked open as the two men came walking in. Eddie had Buck's baggage over his shoulder, and Buck on his other shoulder. They had made a pit-stop at Buck's apartment, gathering a few things he needed. Eddie laid Buck down on the couch, and put his bags in Eddie's room. "You're getting my room, I'm taking the guest room" Eddie said as he laid Buck's bags on the bed. "Eddie, I can take the guest room, I am the guest" Buck protested, but Eddie had already decided. "No, you're not a guest. You're family, and you are taking my bedroom. It has a better bed, and I am guessing you are going to spend a lot of time there" Eddie said and walked back into the living room. "You need anything?" Eddie asked. No respond. Eddie looked over at Buck, wondering if he was angry again. To his relief, Buck was asleep on the couch. 

***

A few hours later, Buck woke up. He looked at the time. It was almost 4 PM. The living room was empty, and Buck was wondering where Eddie was. Before he could think of anything, he heard a car door shut, then another one. Seconds after, the door opened and Chris came running towards Buck. "Careful!" was all Eddie could say, knowing that his son wouldn't listen. Eddie looked over at Buck, where he was captured of his son. "Pizza for dinner, okay?" Eddie said and started finding the ingredients. "Gosh, it's nice having groceries in this house again!". 

Two hours later, the pizza was nearly gone, and the three boys had settled down. "Can we watch a movie?" Chris asked and looked at his dad. "I'm sure Buck's tired, we can watch one tomorrow" Eddie explained to his son. "Nah, we can watch it now" Buck answered, trying to please Chris. "Alright, you guys pick one while I clean up". Eddie gave Buck the remote, and started taking their plates. When he came back to the living room, Chris had chosen Cars, for the thousandth time. 

"Now little man, it's time for bed" Eddie said as he yawned. The time was almost 10 PM, and Eddie could feel his eyes starting to close. Chris had stayed awake for the whole movie, but he couldn't say the same for the two older men. Eddie took Chris with him to brush his teeth and change to his pajamas. 

"There, he is finally asleep" Eddie said to Buck after thirty minutes. "Got a lot of energy, that kid" Buck said and rubbed his eyes. "You should go to sleep, Buck, I can see your eyes closing". "Yeah, I'm going, just gonna take a shower first" Buck informed as he was getting up. Eddie gave a quick nod, before heading to the guest bedroom.


	4. murder show

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't read this if you don't want the chapter spoiled; Buck and Eddie spends the day together, watching a new show. A knock on the door is heard, sending shivers through Buck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the response already! Also, I noticed Chris was supposed to stay at his Abuela's for the night, but then he slept home? I don't know where my head was when I wrote that, so lets just say Eddie changed his mind.

Eddie sat on his bed, or the bed in his guest room. He heard Buck turning on the shower, and knew it would take a hot minute before he was done. When he sat down, getting ready to take of his clothes and tuck him self in, he remembered his phone in the bathroom, connected to his speaker. Eddie wasn't addicted to his phone, and he could gladly spend the night without it, but all of his alarms where still on, and it would wake up the whole neighborhood. He went out in the living room again, to wait for Buck. After a good 30 minutes, Eddie heard the shower turn off. "Finally!" Eddie said through the door, teasing Buck. When Buck heard Eddie's voice, he unlocked the door, inviting Eddie in. 

"How is it possible to take such long showers?" Eddie asked impatient. "Sorry, how could I know you were standing outside, waiting for me?" Buck asked with a towel around his hips, hiding his private parts. Eddie walked in and turned towards the sink and started unconnecting his phone from the speaker. Eddie could see Buck standing behind him in the mirror. "I left my phone in the speaker, and I think it's best to unconnect it before my alarms go off, starting world war three. Also, I gotta brush my teeth" Eddie explained, finally able to unconnect his phone and putting it in his pocket. "Oh, I just thought you wanted to see me half naked" Buck laughed. "What do you mean by that?". "No I just figured, I've been in a coma for a while, and you missed checking me out in the wardrobe" Buck said, now meeting Eddie's eyes in the mirror, with a smile on his face. "I have not checked you out" Eddie laughed, slightly embarrassed, now turning his glance towards the toothbrush. "Come on, you don't think I see you looking at me while I change?" Buck said, still with a laughter in his voice. "God, you make me sound like a creep!" Eddie laughed, looking at Buck through the mirror again.

***

The next morning, Eddie woke up before his alarms were able to go off. He looked at his phone. 04:47 AM. Eddie always woke up before 5 AM, either because of the army, a crying Chris or heading to work before 6 AM. Last night had gotten pretty late, so Eddie decided to sleep in. Just before closing his eyes, he turned off his alarms, so he could sleep in peace.

An hour later, Eddie woke up again. The sun was shining in through the curtains, and Eddie felt well rested. He got up and headed towards the bathroom. Just as he passed his room, or Buck's room, he crashed into something while he tried to peek through the almost closed door.

"Fuck!" Eddie said, louder than he meant to be. In front of him was Buck. "Buck, what are you doing up so early?" he asked while checking if Chris slept through it. No Chris coming out in the hall, guess we're clear. "I don't know, I'm used to being up early" Buck explained. "Well, go back to sleep, you need the rest" Eddie demanded while he went into the bathroom. Eddie went into the shower, and noticed the shower was already wet. 

Coming out of the bathroom, Eddie saw Buck sitting on the couch, watching some show. "Did you shower?" Eddie asked, confused. "Yeah, why?" Buck said, not letting any of his attention escape from the show. "You showered last night?" Eddie said, almost asking. "Well, I was cold. I thought a hot shower could help" Buck said, now looking at Eddie. Eddie gave him a nod, and then looking at the time. "What do you want for breakfast? Pancakes or eggs?" Eddie asked while walking towards Chris' room. "Whatever you want" Buck answered, watching his TV show again.

***

"Alright, off we go!" Eddie said as Chris got his backpack. "I'll be right back, you got everything you need?" Eddie asked. "Yeah, I'll be fine" Buck said, sitting on the couch, now watching some kind of movie. 

Half an hour later, Eddie came in with something in his hands. "Whats that?" Buck asked, seeing something big and fluffy. "This is three blankets for you, so you don't get cold" Eddie said while unpacking the blankets. "Eddie, you didn't have to, I'm fine!" Buck said so he wouldn't feel bad, but he really could use some blankets. "Well, better with too many rather than too few" Eddie said and threw the blankets to Buck. 

"So, what shall we do today?" Eddie asked, and sat down on the couch, next to Buck. "I found a new show we can watch" Buck said and started searching on Netflix. "What's it about?". "It's some kind of detectives trying to solve a murder or something, you wanna try it?" Buck asked. "Sure".

An hour went by and the boys were living into the show. "Oh come on, that guy totally did it!" Buck shouted at the screen. "He couldn't have, he was at work. They even have vidoes of him, working!" Eddie argued.

For each episode, Buck had gotten closer and closer to Eddie without notizing it himself. Now, the two boys had no space between them, sharing the three blankets Eddie had bought earlier. Buck's head was resting on Eddie's shoulder, and Eddie rested his head on Buck's. Neither of them thought it was weird, they didn't even think of it.

Then, breaking paradise, a knock on the door was heard.


	5. visitor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Do not read this if you don't want the chapter spoiled; Maddie is visiting Buck, but he is not ready to talk to anyone except Eddie. In panick, Buck escaped through the window, running to a safe spot, which also happens to be Eddie's favorite spot. Eddie finds him, and gets to know why he escaped, and also learns the truth to why Buck tried to commit suicide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't bully me, but I kind of forgot how Eddie's house looks like and how it's formed (it's a while since I watched the show), so I have created my own house in my head xD So if you're confused about where he's going and why he suddently is in the kitchen somehow, just play along :)

Eddie stopped the show and started walking towards the door, wondering who was standing on the other side. He opened the door, revealing Maddie Buckley. "Maddie!" Buck heard Eddie say. Buck had kind of forgotten Maddie, forgotten everyone that was outside of Eddie Diaz' house. He hadn't never thought about what he would say to her, or how he should act. He wasn't mad, not anymore, after yelling at Eddie, but he still felt kind of betrayed, forgotten. Eddie quickly brushed his fingers through his hair, trying to hide the fact that he and Buck just had watched TV for hours and hours. 

Maddie walked into the living room, expecting Buck to sit there, maybe hug her and she had planned everything she would say, starting with "I love you". But Buck was no where to be seen.

"Where is he?" Maddie said as she turned towards Eddie. "What do you mean? He's right her-". Eddie stopped talking as he saw the empty couch. "He probably went to the bathroom" Eddie said, trying not to worry Maddie. "I'll check" Eddie said and walked towards the bathroom. 

He knocked on the bathroom door, but there was no reply. Eddie looked at Maddie. Slowly, Eddie turned the knob, and as the door opened, there was no Buck in the bathroom. "Maybe he is in his room?" Maddie asked, now trying to comfort Eddie. Eddie walked into his room, but Buck wasn't there either. 

His window was open, and with all the investigating Eddie had watched the few hours, he knew exactly what was going on. "He's not here, he must have climbed through the window" Eddie said, with a hint of panick in his voice. He took his jacket on, and went outside. 

"I'll search the street, he can't have gotten so far" Maddie said and started walking out the door too. "No, you're pregnant. Look, I will search the neighborhood, you check his apartment, maybe he went there" Eddie explained, as he knew pregnant women shouldn't out-do themselves. "Text me if you find him" Maddie said as she got into her car. 

***

He had tried calling Buck plenty of times, but it all went to voicemail. Eddie was starting to worry now. What if Buck had relapsed, and was harmed somewhere. There was still nothing from Maddie, meaning Buck wasn't in his apartment.

Eddie walked quickly along the sidewalks, searching for Buck. He had gotten to the river now, a nice place with a park right next to it. This was where Eddie went when he needed time for himself or to escape the real world. 

The park was filled with people, old people. Minutes later, he had reached the other side of the park. There was a small bridge, leading to a tiny island, with only room for a bench under a tree. This was Eddie's all time favorite place, and he had spent a lot of time there, especially lately, when Buck was in a coma. 

But to Eddie's surprise, there sat someone on the island. He recognized the person sitting there. It was Buck. He could tell because of the rough hair and the fact that he was sitting there, still in his pajamas. He almost ran over the bridge.

"Buck! Are you okay?". Buck looked at Eddie, who was practically running towards him. "Eddie?" Buck asked confused. "What are you doing here?". "I'm looking for you, and so is you sister" Eddie asked when he finally got over the bridge. "What happened?" Eddie asked. He face was all serious, but when he saw Buck's face, he softened it. It looked like he had been crying; his eyes were swollen and red, and Eddie could see his eyes shimmer. 

"Sorry, I-" Buck started saying, but his voice broke as he spoke. Eddie quickly sat down on the bench next to Buck. He laid a hand over Buck's shoulders, trying to comfort the man. "Hey, it's okay" Eddie said in his soft voice that he use to speak in when Chris was sad. "I don't know what to say to her, I can't explain to her why I wanted to die" Buck said, now crying. "It's okay, Buck. You just explain how you feel, and it'll work itself out". "I can't, she'll go all judgmental on me, and I have to explain to her how this was her fault, all of your fault. I can't say to my sister that she was the reason I went suicidal". 

Eddie felt his heart rip as he heard the words "all of your fault". He broke by the thought that he was the reason that Buck, his best friend, wanted to leave this earth. "I don't want to talk to her, okay? I'm not ready to talk to any of them" Buck said, clinging to Eddie's lap. "Alright, I'll tell them that you're not ready yet" Eddie said, and got his phone out. 

"I found him, he's safe. He's not ready to talk to you yet, you should go home and rest. We'll let you know when he's ready".


	6. first kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Do not read this if you don't want the chapter spoiled; Buck faints in the kitchen, leading to him losing his pulse. Eddie is performing CPR on him, and Buddie has their first kiss, but not exactly how they imagined it would be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally back with another chapter!

"Shit! I gotta pick up Chris from school!" Eddie said as he watched his watch. They had continued the TV show when they got home after the visit from Maddie. "What's for dinner?" Buck asked, still lying on the couch. "What do you want?" Eddie asked and put his jacket on. Buck did his usual "I don't know"-face. "Well, I'll see what I find at the store then" Eddie said and went out the door. 

Roughly half an hour later, Eddie and Chris came home. They walked through the door, and Chris ran towards Buck. "Hey buddie! How's your day been?" Buck asked and hugged the small boy. "It was great! We watched a movie about bees!" Chris said and got the same "I can talk for hours about a movie that lasted 10 minutes"-look as he always had. 

"Bud, you gotta take your shoes off before you run inside" Eddie said. "Sorry dad". "So what's for dinner?" Buck asked and broke the silence. "The store was all out of everything, except pizza. So I guess we have pizza. Again." Eddie said, with a bored face. "Okay then, let's spice it up" Buck said as he got up from the couch. "What do you mean? Like, put spices on it?" Eddie asked with a hidden laughter. Buck got close to Eddie, and pointed his finger in Eddie's chest as he grabbed the frozen pizza from Eddie's arm. "That's exactly what I mean". Eddie felt a kind of tingle in his chest just as Buck touched his chest, but quickly shook it off. 

"This is gonna taste horrible, you know that, right?" Eddie said while Buck threw all kind of spices on the pizza. "Don't be so negative! This will taste great!". "Alright, if you say so. It looks like this is gonna take a while... I'm going to help Chris with his homework, while you keep on doing... this" Eddie said and left the kitchen. "Mijo! Get your homework!" Eddie yelled towards Chris' room. 

***

A few minutes later, a loud noice broke the peaceful silence. Eddie looked towards the kitchen, but couldn't see Buck. "Buck, you alright?" he asked. He was sure Buck was standing at the counter seconds ago. No one answered. Eddie got up, and walked into the kitchen. Buck was laying on the floor, looking paler than usual. "Buck!" Eddie yelled as he got to his knees. 

Buck was ice cold, unconscious on the floor. Eddie checked his pulse, noting every weak bump. "Damn it, Buck" Eddie said and put his cheek against Buck's lips, to check if the man was breathing. 

"Daddy?". Eddie froze. He did not want Chris to see Buck in this situation. "Hey bud, why don't you finish your homework in your room" Eddie said stressed. "But dad-". "Now!" Eddie almost yelled. He did not mean to seem mad at Chris, but it was better that Chris would think that, than Chris being traumatized after seeing Buck. Eddie could hear Chris walking towards his room, then closing the door. 

"9-1-1, what's your emergency?". The voice on the phone was calm, like always. "I have a male, age 29, unconscious. His pulse is weak and he is barely breathing!"

"Damn it! I lost his pulse!" Eddie yelled and started CPR. "Okay, sir, do you know CPR?" the voice asked. "I've already started!" Eddie said. Just as Eddie was going to blow into Buck's mouth for the second time, his eyes shut open. 

"Buck!" Eddie said surprised and helped the man up. Buck was breathing heavily, lookin confused around him. "Is he awake?" the voice on the phone asked. "Yeah, yeah, he's awake" Eddie said relieved. "Okay, the ambulance will be there soon".

***

Five hours and probably a few thousand dollars later, Buck was home again. It was not a big deal, well, except for the stopped breathing part. The doctors said he had fainted because he was to exhausted, probably caused by the visit from Maddie and then the excitement of spicing up the pizza. He was now on a bed rest, prescribed by the doctor.

"I think it's time for you two to go to bed" Eddie said while he took off his jacket. Eddie and Chris went into the bathroom, brushing Chris' teeth and changing into his pyjamas. "Good night, Buck" Chris said when he passed him in the living room. "Night, buddie!".

Buck came into the bathroom, where Eddie already was brushing his teeth. "Crazy day" Eddie said and looked at Buck in the mirror. "Yeah, that's not exactly how I imagined our first kiss to be" Buck said and pressed himself infront of Eddie, in order to get his toothbrush. "You've imagined it?".


End file.
